As my 19th birthday has come to a close, I am happy to share some thoughts about the past years, and the years to come. My 19th started off at work with 11 screaming toddlers. Including one who gave me the present of cleaning up their accident on the floor. So happy birthday to me, right? It all got better though when my family and boyfriend took me to Babe’s Chicken where we saw THE Jordan Spieth, you know the one that just won the Masters and the U.S. Open. NBD . We live in Dallas with him so it isn’t a huge shocker that it happened. He was walking to the bathroom and a waitress sneakily asked him for his autograph. At first we didn’t recognize him, so we were all kind of confused as to why this waitress wanted this random guy’s autograph. Suddenly my brother-in-law realized that it was him and went up and shook his hand. Jordan quickly went back to his table in the corner to finish his birthday meal as well. So if you’re reading this Jordan, happy birthday and keep doing you.
Switching gears now, can we talk about how 19 is so anti-climactic. You just got past 18, which was a big deal because you know– legal adult– and you can sign stuff now without a legal guardian. But you are also just under 20, which is a big deal because 2 decades (woohoo). That thought got me thinking though, next year I can say that 10 years ago I was 10, and in 10 more I will be 30. Holy cow. 30. I am about to be right in the middle of 10 and 30, I don’t know why that blew my mind so much. I guess I just feel like I am so close to adulthood yet I think about how long it took me to get form 10 to 20 and I have that much time until 30. So much is going to change. Hopefully I will be married, have a job I love, and maybe even have kids.
I also look back and notice how I tried to plan what my life would look like in the next 10 years when I was 10. I envisioned myself going to Texas A&M, maybe working on an acting career, and driving a convertible. This all sounds silly now, but it was so real back then. Yet, here I am again trying to plan out my life for the next 10 years. My life is nowhere near what I envisioned it at 10, and for that I am very thankful (because who wants to be an Aggie). Now at 19 I look back at myself and think of how naive and young I was. Yet in 10 more years, I will think that about my 19 year old self. I’ll say she was silly and thank God that her crazy plans didn’t come true, because the life I will be living at that time will make so much more sense.
One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. While it might seem a little trite, there is no verse more applicable. I think this is my favorite verse because one of my biggest sins used to be not trusting the Lord. I tried to plan every minute of my life and got so anxious and worried when it didn’t go exactly my way. I still struggle with it from time to time but I am much more trusting in his plan now than I ever have been before. I may still try to plan my life (like I did at the beginning of this post) but I don’t get worried anymore when those plans don’t pan out exactly the way I wanted them to.
Looking back on year 18, I planned to go to Baylor, love it, be single, join a sorority, and be preparing to return to Baylor. Literally the only thing that happened was that I went to Baylor. I’m not upset though, that was my plan, but it absolutely stunk. I’m glad God re-wired it. For whatever reason I needed to go through a lot of obstacles to get to where I am at 19, but doesn’t everybody.
Nothing ever turns out the way we plan. Right now you might be upset your plans didn’t work in your favor. Or maybe you are happy they didn’t, and you see the way God has seamlessly worked it all out in your favor. Whatever stage you’re at, give thanks in all circumstances. He is working in you and your life; there is a season for everything.
I’m thankful for year 18, and look forward to year 19. Let’s just all remember to put more faith in our Holy Planner than our Lily Pulitzer one.